I had no freaken clue how loving and caring and nice my boyfriend is. I feel like a total bitch and dumb fuck for all of the questions/complaints I have had/posted about him. He has valid loving reasons for why he does what he does. He loves sooo many people it's hard for him to balance his time between everyone. He is there when I need him and I will be happy with that. He is still here after all the shit I gave him last week and especially last Friday. He is still here with me and says he doesn't see me any differently. Let's face it, I was a psychotic possessed drunkard who felt like she was being raped all over again. I was so mean to my love. The way I treated him. I was so mean. I am so remorseful and humbled and sorry for what I did to him. I really am. I hope I can show that to him in some way. I really hope I can. He is my world and I am so happy to have my love.
About the flashbacks. I had one last night in a dream. It was awful and I was frightened beyond what this world could imagine. I hope these things go away soon. I really do. Soon I will be trying EMDS. Cross your fingers that Publish Postthis will work. I can't have these things cripple me all the time. They are so frightening and so awful. I am not myself when they occur. Not at all and I am remorseful for how I treat my loved one during them. Please forgive me. Please.
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